- [ ] Putting my Seleena that I had loved, cared for and protected for 15 + years in the hands of Dr. Beall of Southside Vet in Bixby for a much dreaded euthanasiia was one of the biggest mistakes of ... Read More
- [ ] Putting my Seleena that I had loved, cared for and protected for 15 + years in the hands of Dr. Beall of Southside Vet in Bixby for a much dreaded euthanasiia was one of the biggest mistakes of my life and will forever remain engrained in this brain I have that will play it over and over again in my head for the rest of my life and cause me great regret snd heartache every time it comes to mind. Right now there isn’t a moment I don’t think about the horror of her last 15 minutes of life and what it must have been like for her. From the moment Dr. Beall walked into the room he seemed to be removed from the fact that someone was loosing a loved one once he did what I was paying him to do, essentially kill my baby to save her from future suffering. This last weekend I watched my baby go down hill walking around aimlessly bumping into things, putting her head into corners, walking around and around in circles until I guess she tired herself out or just fell over from weakness. She would take in water still and acted a little interested in food but never was able to actually take the food in. So out of love for her and not wanting to watch her really go down hill more then I had already watched I decided it was time. Since I had put my sweet Misty down last year and the City Vet made it so peaceful I guess I thought Dr Beall with Southside Vet in Bixby would know enough to give my Seleena anesthetic or a muscle relaxer before injecting the euthanasia drug to stop the heart. I was so wrong. We waited in the room with her. The assistant was very nice. We had told her Seleena’s mannerisms in the last days and asked if it was time. She was very nice but she was not the vet so she said the vet would be in to look at her and talk to us. He came in. My mom and I told him what had been going on. But he never seemed very compassionate, just matter of fact. Not at all like he was connected at all to the fact that I was putting my beloved Seleena down or the more peaceful experience I had at City Vet a year prior with Misty. When I had to put her down at Southside Vet the assistant asked my mom and I if we wanted to stay in the room while he put her to sleep. Yes, of course. It is one of the hardest things to do to watch any life slip away, especially one loved so dearly, but I had never deserted her so I was going to be there for her in death as much as I could to help her move on from this life peacefully. The vet then shaved her leg. That is scary enough looking back on it now and how it went it seemed like an execution rather then peaceful, compassionate, humane euthanasia . At the City Vet he had given Misty a relaxing shot before the euthanasia shot. Waited about 5 minutes while I held her and loved on her. At Southside, Dr. Beall just stuck the shot in Seleena’s vein without any relaxant. Mind you Seleena was blind, had dementia and didn’t know what was going on anymore, plus likely dehydrated from not drinking as much and a small dog to boot with smaller veins. All of which Dr. Beall knew or should have known. Seleena jerked back and yelped out in pain. The vet assistant had to hold on to her and she was obviously in more pain and anxiety at that point. What do you do at that point I didn’t know if he had half done the deed or didn’t get anything into her I was simply horrified and felt like I was literally watching The Green Mile and an electrocution gone wrong. I had no instinct at that point because of the way it went. I mean you don’t want to be doing what you are doing in the first place. If I grabbed her up at that point and ran out with her, the fact was is that she was still going down hill and now she was bleeding profusely out of her leg as well. And it is happening in slow motion and fast all at the same time. He then stuck her again. And at that point I moved to the door and fell against it saying “Oh my God” I guess half out of my mind at the horror and half so he would notice my obvious horror and stop. I should have just snatched her up at that point and said what the hell are you doing? But it wasn’t like I was protective mommy and she was just getting her yearly shots. He finally said he was going to give her the anesthetic. The anesthetic I feel he should have given her in the first place like the vet at City Vet gave Misty. Although I don’t think hers was anesthetic just relaxant, but worked well nonetheless. And with anesthetic, since I’ve been under it, I know that it initially burns when shot into your veins and should graduate introduced so it doesn’t burn as it’s coursing through your veins. Dr Beall came back in the room and shot it into her fast when he should have done it slowly, but I think he wanted it to be over as he had messed it up so bad. Well I did too but not at the expense of scaring and hurting her more. He did hurt her more because she cried out again in pain and tried to lunge forward with the tech holding her. Then he said we would wait 5 minutes. OMG my mom and I were beside ourselves. My mom was holding her and I asked her if she was any better as far as settling down after what she’d been put through. Her heart had slowed my mom said from beating out of her chest from fright. Then the vet came back in, Seleena looked to be asleep at that point and the assistant tech laid her out. Her other leg was shaved. He went and got another shot I guess that was not blunt and was sharp so he could shoot it in her vein without her bleeding profusely and then she was gone. Bestill my heart. It is broken and I feel broken. My mom called him today because I’m so torn up and I know she is too partially because of Seleena and going through it all with me and because what it has done to me. She asked him why anesthetic wasn’t given before or a relaxant. He said because it is easier on them to just have the euthanasia shot in. Really, how can that be? That is what a relaxant would be for so she would be out of it. I might agree with the anesthetic if not given gradually and shot in as it was all at once but like I said a relaxant was given at City Vet to Misty and then the euthanasia drug and it was peaceful and over quickly. I don’t believe what he said and I will never take another dog of mine to that vet office again. Not even sure if I can ever trust myself to pick a vet that I can make sure will give my babies a peaceful death. Not even sure if I would trust City Vet at this point even though he did a good job with Misty. I feel betrayed by trusting a professional or what I thought was a professional and I feel I have betrayed Seleena. This and so much more and the fact I didn’t grab Seleena and run is part of what will haunt me and guilt me for the rest of my life. I just want to know from my baby if she knew I was trying to do the best for her and that she’s fine, happy, at peace and in heaven and doesn’t blame me and that I loved her so much. Read Less